The World According to the United States of America

Many of the US population doesn’t have a clue there is dry land outside their borders. Ronald Reagan for example, on one of his first international trips, was surprised to find out that Latin America is not a island. I have not much evidence to back it up, but I suspect Sarah Palin thinks Japan is a name of a car factory. And so on and so forth.

Enough small talk. Here’s a full list of the labels:

North America

Greenland – Ice Cap
Alaska – Hockey Moms
Canada – Vegetarians
United States (mainland) – Civilized World
Mexico – Maids and Gardeners
Guatemala – Fringe Lab
Belize – ?
El Salvador – N.A.
Honduras – Mess
Nicaragua – Reagan’s Rancho
Costa Rica – Jungle
Panama (joined with Ecuador) – Banana Republic
Cuba – Quarantine
Jamaica – Reggae
Haiti – Poverty
Dominican Republic – Holiday
Puerto Rico – Latinos
Bahamas – Northern Sea Cliffs
Antilles – Southern Sea Cliffs

South America

Colombia – Estados Unidos de Coicaine
Venezuela – Evil Empire of Venzenweelah
Guyana and Suriname – Forest
French Guiana – Rockets
Brazil – Liberal Commies (allied with Iran)
Ecuador (joined with Panama) – Banana Republic
Peru – Our Bitches
Bolivia – Cuba del Sur
Paraguay – Catholic Socialists
Uruguay – Tupamaros
Argentina – One Dollar Store
Chile – Chili Con Carne
Falklands – British Riviera

Africa

Morocco, Algeria, Tunis, Libya, Egypt, Sudan, Chad, Niger, Mali, Mauritania, Western Sahara, Senegal and The Gambia – Fucking Desert, Dude!
Guinea Bissau, Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Côte d’Ivoire, Ghana, Burkina Faso, Togo, Benin, Nigeria, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Congo 1, Congo 2, Gabon, Equatorial Guinea, Uganda, Rwanda, Burundi, Tanzania, Mozambique, Swaziland, Lesotho, Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Angola – AIDS
Madagascar – Penguins
Somalia – Jack Sparrow
Ethiopia and Eritrea – Hunger & Stuff
Kenya – Obamaland
Malawi – Madonnaland
South Africa – Land of Bling

Europe

Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland – Socialist Union
Iceland – Wikileaks
United Kingdom – Mummy
Ireland – St Patrick
Portugal – Brazil
Spain – Mexico
France – Smelly People
Germany – Dirty Porn
The Netherlands – Sodom
Belgium – Chocolate
Switzerland – Cash
Italy – Godfathers
Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Montenegro, Kosovo, Albania, Macedonia – Resident Evil
Greece – Democracy
Turkey – Thanksgiving Meal
Bulgaria and Romania – Dracula
Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia – Buffer Zone
Austria – Apfelkuchen
Georgia, Azerbaijan, Armenia – No Clue
Russia – Commies

Asia

Syria – Rogue State
Lebanon – Mess
Israel and Palestine – Pals
Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait – Uncle Allah
Yemen – Thugs
Oman, U.A.E., Qatar – Flying Carpets
Iraq – Fuck Yeah
Iran – Satan
Turkmenistan – Kwpzsfrstan
Uzbekistan – Szwrkstan
Tajikistan – …stan
Kyrgyzstan – Wtfstan
Mongolia – Savages
Kazakhstan – Borat
Afghanistan – Vietnam 2.0
Pakistan – Cambodia 2.0
India – Curry
Bangladesh – Hunger
Sri Lanka – Tigers
Nepal – Alpinists
Bhutan – Meh
Mianmar (Burma) – Rascals
Thailand – Brothel
Laos – Nixon’s Bitches
Cambodia – Skulls
Vietnam – Cemetery
Malaysia – Two Skyscrapers & Stuff
Indonesia – Mesoindia
The Philippines – Rice Dolls
Japan – Toyota
South Korea – Samsung
North Korea – Dr. Evil

Australia & Oceania

Australia – Aussiebums
Papua New Guinea – Guinea Pigs
New Zealand – Kiwis

World_according_to_usa

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